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 Post Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 10:41 am 
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@[AR]Peacekeeper,

Great one. uv20 uv15

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 Post Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 12:25 pm 
 
uv21 uv20


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 Post Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2009 10:17 am 
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hers a jole fer ya my face lol rabel rabel rabel


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 Post Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 4:08 pm 
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Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one...a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent...
S: Unable to reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode..

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

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 Post Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 5:44 pm 
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Lol! uv15


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 Post Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 8:11 pm 
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Hilarious!! uv20 uv15


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 Post Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:02 am 
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That was totally great! uv15

I know that sometimes things are crazy in RL and this happens in many different cases and situations from the Court Rooms to Drs. Offices and like in the above. This means that, people are real and they all have their ways of letting others know it. I would have liked to have seen the look on the pilots face after getting the repair sheet back.

uv20

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 Post Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:43 pm 
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Did you know that I miss Boom.....


but my aim is getting better........


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 Post Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:52 pm 
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uv20

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 Post Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 9:01 pm 
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Boomsgirl wrote:
Did you know that I miss Boom.....


but my aim is getting better........

uv39 uv15 uv20
Too funny!!


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 Post Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 10:02 pm 
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Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?

A: Because if it had four doors, it would be a sedan!

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 Post Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:26 am 
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uv15 uv20

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 Post Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:26 am 
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Here's on for ya. Hope it doesn't disturb anyone?


While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly, but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a
6 foot asshole ? "
he asked.

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."




Traffic Ticket - $95.00

Court Costs - $45.00

Look on the Cop's Face....PRICELESS !

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 Post Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:13 am 
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Hehe uv20


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 Post Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:03 am 
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As we say in AR, Rock Har Har!! Dog and HK, nice ones!! uv20


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